Atticus said to us several times Saturday night in the car on the way to dinner, "Guys! Hey! I'm talking right now!" The first time I asked him what he was saying. After he got carried away with it, I more or less had to tell him he's not king of the world.

Other things he's picked up from me: "I'm serious" and "Do you understand me?" and many others I can't think of right now.

I said to Chris tonight at dinner, after Atticus ignored my repeated questioning as to whether he needed help cutting his quiche, that the thing that drives me wild about Atticus is how he sometimes doesn't answer me despite that I've asked a question a dozen times. Atticus perked up and said, "I'm listening now."

I bought him a book called The Way I Feel about a week and a half ago to help him feel more comfortable (and able) to talk about his feelings, particularly sadness over Chris working out of town. It's worked like a charm. He loves the book and wants to read it every night. He's picked up new vocabulary--namely "disappointed" and "frustrated." He enjoys talking about the things that make him happy, sad, angry, disappointed, scared, jealous, etc. And every time we come to the sad boy, he asks (and I swear I didn't feed this to him), "Is that boy sad because his daddy went away?" Then we talk about how maybe he is, but his daddy will come home soon; and plus, he's not all alone because he has his mommy there to take care of him.

I also bought him a book called Goodnight Goodnight, Construction Site so that we could learn the names of the various construction vehicles working to expand Houghton. Another big hit. And educational for me too.

Atticus told me tonight that I'm his best friend. I feel like I must have misinterpreted somehow, but I'll let myself enjoy the new status while it lasts.

The bad news:

Life hasn't been so easy the last several days, now that Chris has been in Hawaii for 9 days and counting. Atticus started peeing on himself Sunday. At first he did it in the bathroom with his pants down--just turned and aimed away from the toilet. Then in his bath towel after getting out of the bath. Then in his pants. Then on the opposite side of the bathroom as the toilet. Then in his pants again tonight after Chris announced on skype that he's no longer coming home Thursday night as he promised last night. I know Chris doesn't mean to be deceiving and is just responding to a constantly changing schedule, but Atticus was so excited last night when we had a concrete day and a concrete number of fingers to hold up, to subtract from. This morning I showed him how to use his thumb to hold his pinky finger down so that it doesn't interfere with his "three" days until daddy returns. He demonstrated for his teacher. He talked last night and this morning about how he and daddy are going to get bagels when he returns on Thursday.

In addition to the "accidents" despite having been potty trained for about eight months now, he's just all around fragile and temperamental. He cries over the littlest things. He tests me constantly. He asks me at night when I'm about to leave his room for reassurance that I won't leave him all alone in the house.

Giving him copious attention helps, but only so much. This morning we got up early and played puzzles and studied shapes, etc. for quite some time. But then I had to take a shower. He didn't act too upset about that, but after he refused to help clean up even after a time-out. I had to resort to threatening to put all his train stuff away. I hate to do that, but I hate even more the prospect of raising a kid who refuses to help clean up after himself. Then I had to pin his arms down to brush his teeth. Not our normal routine, that's for sure.

The good news:

He's still super loving, giving me tons of kisses and hugs, and daily hugging and kissing Ava when I pick him up. Here he is enjoying a cupcake at her birthday party last Friday at school.




Last night I strummed (very poorly) the guitar and sang a call-and-response song about Atticus (I called, he responded), and he really dug it. I sang another one tonight sans guitar. Once in a while he corrects me when I get something wrong like when I said his favorite ride at Disney was the choo choo train, and he added "and the monorail."

He keeps cracking me up with the stuff he says like on Sunday, referring to the Catalinas, "Those mountains are big like you, mama." awesome. Or "You're a little not nice, mama."

He's moving up to the big-kid pool next week at swim school. I asked if he could move over a few weeks early since he's so independent in the pool, and they agreed that he was ready. He's excited about swimming with just the teacher while Chris and I watch through the window. We're excited not to have to change into swimsuits, etc. every week.

In the last couple of weeks he's created a series of "black" paintings--page after page of black water coloring, the papers so drenched they stick to the table and take several days to dry.

Things Atticus has been saying or doing recently:

• "I need to find out." "I got to find out." "I have to find out."
• "Look at this, guys." "Look at me, guys." (Or when we were exiting the elevator at Disney World, he said to the two older women getting on it after us, "It's your turn, guys.")
• He mimics my parenting, saying things like "Are you going to eat those carrots? They're really good. You should try them" and "That's not nice, mommy."
• When I pick him up from school, he tells me he looked for me and that he missed me, but that he had a good day nonetheless.
• He practices words and grammar aloud repeatedly. The other day I corrected his grammar when he said "I are" and tried to explain (and miserably failed probably) when to use "are" and when "am." He then practiced it aloud as he played trains: "I am going around.... I am..." Or if I tell him a new word he asks me to repeat it many times; then he repeats it.
• He's often telling me "That's enough" or "That's too much" (rarely, "not enough").
• When I've turned down chocolate lately, he's asked if I'm sick.

On a whim, I went to the nursery the other day to bring some life back to the sad, dead garden. I planted a bunch of flowers and vegetables--a mixture of transplants and seeds--while he was napping, and when he woke and came out to see what I was up to, the smile on his face was magic. He took my hand to walk me around the garden and ask me what everything was. Then he helped plant more seeds and transplants and water everything. He's excited that we're going to be eating stuff that we grow.

Disney World January 2013

Christmas 2012