sleep training

First, I want to announce that the ear infection is now gone. Yay! There is, however, still fluid in his left ear, so the pediatrician joked that I should make sure Atticus doesn't get another cold. hmm

Also, for the first time in my recollection, Atticus made himself laugh in the backseat of the car, no one back there to entertain him. Sure, he laughs when I tickle him or hold him up in the air or show him pictures of babies, etc. But I don't think I've ever heard him crack himself up before. It was delightful.

Now, the sleep training part. Tuesday morning at 3am, Atticus woke up, seemingly ready to start the day. I slept terribly that night. I felt feverish, achey, etc. Chris left early Monday morning to work in Hawaii for the week (he doesn't return until Saturday evening!). So, I felt I was faced with no choice but to put Atticus into his crib, so that I could get some more sleep. What, you may wonder, is so shocking about putting him into his crib to fend for himself? sigh. Not only has Atticus been sleeping in the bed with me all this time, but I even wait for him to fall asleep before I leave him in our bed alone in the evenings while I finish up my work. And yes, I know that "they" say it's not safe for a baby to sleep alone in an adult bed, especially if they're able to roll around. sigh. What can I say except that I'm a mama who works a 40-hour week, and I'm too exhausted to take my chances trying things I'm not 100% sure will work. Until now, that is. So, Tuesday morning, as you may imagine, Atticus was not pleased when I deposited him into his crib and left the room. Despite that I felt shredded, I got out of bed about four times in approximately 50 minutes to go comfort him. After the fourth time, I decided that if I didn't get some more sleep, not only would I be unable to go to work that day, but I'd be utterly incapable of caring for my baby; so I turned down the volume on the monitor, and I passed out. When I awoke at 6:30 that morning, the monitor was silent. I actually had to wake Atticus at 7:10 to feed him and change him and take him to daycare. He didn't seem the least bit pissed at me, thank goodness. It bothered me not knowing how long he cried for, how long it took him to fall asleep, but desperate times call for desperate actions.

So, since I had inadvertently begun Atticus's transition to crib AND to falling asleep on his own, I figured, what the heck, I might as well stick with it and do this thing. I've been reading a fair amount about infant sleep these last few weeks; I've been worried about the prospect of Atticus rolling out of our bed when I'm not in it; we spent a pretty penny this month for a rocking chair/recliner so that I might be able to start putting his crib to use (and not have to sit on the floor if I need to nurse him before bed, etc.); we bought a white noise machine for his nursery last week; and I've been anxious about the fact that I can't ask anyone to babysit him in the evening without warning them that not only is he unlikely to fall asleep on his own, but once he does fall asleep, transferring him to our bed without waking him is a delicate operation. And it occurred to me this week that the fact that Chris is out of town is probably good. If you think it's difficult for one parent to restrain herself from quitting because she can't stomach her baby crying, try two parents.

Tuesday night Atticus cried for 59 minutes before falling asleep. I went to him every 10-12 minutes, and stayed a lot longer than I probably should have--as much as 7-8 minutes. It wasn't as bad as I imagined it would be though. Not as heartbreaking. Not easy by any means, but not devastating either. Perhaps I was just too exhausted to be devastated. He didn't wake up until 1:30, at which point I took him into bed with me. I've decided he can still sleep with me the second half of the night. I enjoy it, he enjoys it, so whatever.

The worst was yesterday's nap. I debated whether to put him in the crib for naps too. Too much at once? But then again, why be inconsistent? I worried not putting him in the crib for naps too would only confuse him. It took me an hour and a half to get him to sleep at his nap time. :( Then he slept for only about 50 minutes. Then we both fell asleep in the recliner. Last night, however, he cried for only 19 minutes before falling asleep. I only had to go to him once. (Again, he awoke later at 1:30.)

Tonight he cried for a mere 7 minutes. I didn't have to go to him at all. I feel pretty proud of us both.

If you had told me 7 months ago that I would try this crying it out thing in any form, I probably would have scoffed. I still think the cold turkey approach is fairly cruel, but to each his own. But I also think Atticus benefits from learning to soothe himself to sleep, and that I benefit from not having to spend so much time getting him to sleep each night or worrying about him alone in our bed and about asking other people to put him to bed, etc.